update on school, family, and pills

things have been a little mellow this last week.. been bike ridin' almost every day. Natalia hates sitting at home, soooooooooo, I accompany her on anti-sitting-at-home-butt-growing-excursions.


school?::
gah.. that i strive to make things complicated for myself, it's a miracle I havn't ended up in a straight jacket yet.. **slump** I met with that instructor/professor lady Magda, today. The CD I burned to show her my photo & illustration collection janked up on me. Thank goodness I posted a lot of them to my picasa album. Anyways, we went through and figured out what needs to be changed, what won't get used, yare yare.. need to get me a good'ol A4 sketch pad and sketch...... things......... everyday..................... **face in pillow** I know I know, duuuuuh. I knew it was coming! I knew!! >___<>
And photos.. take more photos.. like i'm a spy, or reporter. LOL~ I need to sneek around and take candid'esque photos. No more ''stare into the camera and look pretty'' shots. poop.
Sooo.. yup..
Slowly but surely.
n________________n at least I now know where and how to get to the new Graphics division of the Academy. yay. Didn't get lost and wasn't hopeless. Gold star for me.

on family::
......... *sigh* I'm spoiled. Spoiled, spoiled, spoiled.. Spoiled by my mums, spoiled by my friends, all because you guys endulged my snail/humming bird personality and for the most part*winks* liked me for it. But here? Here??! **slump** I'm learning a new side of myself. I can't talk ''kute'', can't act like a dumdum, can't have mood swings, and gods help me if i whine too much. Gack! It's crazy! Don't think that my families don't know how to be loose and have fun, ooooh, they do they do, HOWEVER, it's always with an undertone of "adultness". Whereas, I really just go with what's in my head, and since I'm translating from english here, majority of the time I just get stared at.
It's like I'm in Japan!!! lol~~~~~ XD Culture/humor gap. A good chunk of it is good for me. Need that ''grow up'' element, and it helps that I can't really go whining to my mums (still gonna whine here though XP ). Just miss being seen as an adult. Havn't had the opportunty to demonstrate (I sit on my toosh and read FF, or doodle, or work on my photos). I have to learn two sets of rules for two sets of houses.. get lectured by the ones younger than me on how things ''werk'' around here and this and that and bah! **breath in, breath out, breath in..**
@_______@ you guys know I'm grown up, right?? i'm a big gerl!~~~ ;________; I am .. I really am........ **hides under a MOUNTAIN of pillows and bites nails**

[boys welcome but need not read further.. gerls, go ahead. :) ]



on birthcontrol::
not that i really need to write this part, but I've been off the pill for a month. apparently the damn things ain't as harmless as advertised. quite the opposite. i've basically been told by every medical expert in my family, that i'm f#$%ing up my body for no good reason. That unless I've had a full check up (gino and what-not) and there's a condition that requires the hormoes prescribed, I really have no business putting that stuff in my body. Needless to say, I was shocked. Shocked. Actually, the level of seriousness on the subject I got I think literally made my eyes bug out. It's not fair that we put so much trust into the hype, and it comes out poop in the end either way. *sigh* So.. I was on the pill for .... 5 months? maybe 6... Gained weight, which is common, but I couldn't loose it. My body was clinging onto waterweight (at least I think it was waterweight.) Month #1 in poland, walking everywhere, exersizing, not stuffing my face, resulted in me gaining 1.7kg. T_T Got off the pill, one month later, walking everywhere, biking frequently, and trying desperatly not to stuff my face, and I lost 2.4kg. T_____T uugh.
I started to take the damn things cuz I was hopin' they would help with my complection. But I get the same effect if I just wash my face after working out, or comin' back from a long walk.. didn't really make a difference there. I was just bloated 24-7. Soo.. right. Money down the drain for now.