red, white and me

yup....................... I'm back.
I'm gonna try n'not make a list of excuses, but essentially, i was not prepared.
Somewhere, sometime, I lost my High School diploma. Without that 'physical' document, I had no way to even begin the process of applying to the University I wanted to get into. My second option, to which I would have had a chance to get into, struck me as a choice that wouldn't give me an education on par with the tech standards of the rest of the world (i.e. digital programs used to complement digital photography, and digital techniques, etc.)

SO, currently, I am enrolled with the Academy of Art University of San Francisco. My major is Photography, and this semester I am studying via. on-line. I'm looking forward to moving out to SanFran for Spring semester, to continue studying in a more traditional setting.

As usual, my 'stubborn' determination has led me to a certain point, but holy moly did spending 6 months in Poland open my eyes to a few things. 1. I am STILL a fish out of water out there. Their whole system of doing things is VASTLY different from ours. I'd equate Poland to the U.S. in the 1960s/1970s, socially, politically, perhaps even a little economically.. This I was not prepared for. The level of difficulty to accomplish any one task.. 2. I am not hard working enough compared to my family out there. Active active ppl they are, always if not working, then off somewhere to take care of business or enjoy some free time. Spending time at home is an utter waste. Wow. Opposite'o'me. After spending three months schmoozing with ppl. to get my foot in the door (to my second Univ. choice), I was so pooped out that the next few months were spent in a daze. The thought of having to take the bus into Warsaw (1 to 1.5 hours) was almost physically pai~~nful. Having to meet with people and go to exibits simply to 'impress' my 'interest' in the arts.. don't get me wrong, if it's an exibit I'm interested in, I'll go, but one after another of the really reaaaaly artsy fartsy types, where the artist just says "I'd like for you to find your own interpretation" as I stare at a distored, pixelized, blot of something... yaa.. no. And bad wine. 3. Work. Because the U.S. has no agreement with Poland, I either need a. a work visa or b. to get my citizenship or c. work under the table. I applied for my citizenship a month after I arrived...................... (in April) .. it's September.. still nothing. If you guys remember the Futurama episode "How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back".. the bureaucracy's like that.............. but slow. Much.............. much........................ slower........... efficiency is almost nonexistant. Communication btw. offices.. nope. And HOW the heck do you even approach the subjec of getting paid under the table??? Nudge nudge wink wink? **deer in the headlights expression** I have no clue. So I couldn't get a job until I got my citizenship, but that could take until November, my aunt (mom's sister) couldn't stand that I wasn't doing 'things' (mind you my adjustment pace was rather snailish), so she said I can do that same in the States, but at least I'd be in an environment that I know well..... yup. So I'm back.

**phew**
It's been a ride, to say the least. I REALLY didn't want to waste a semester, so that's why I joined AAU. I definitly feel good about photography. Not just feel good, but I think I'm goot @ it, and I more than just 'want' to pursue it, I need to really. I'm a little sad to have little physical evidence to show for my stay in Poland (though my ass did get smaller.. maybe..), but the psychologial ramifications, mostly positive :) have left me with a LOT to fall back on.

It's moving forward and up up & away~~~~~~~!!

.. but right now.. I need my car fixed and get a job. Lol. Bills to pay, loans to sign, and much to study.

XOXOXOXOoOxXOOXO to you all!
don't have a cell phone (don't call my old #, 'cuz someone else has that #). Email me, let me know what's goin' on wif you~
missed you guys, one way or another.
S'good to be back (I guess... **being difficult**) xoxo